This afternoon was an experience that exceeded my imagination and my expectations. My heart is full, satisfied, joyful and at peace – just the way one feels after eating a truly nourishing meal. I have trouble believing it happened, trouble believing that you and I actually did meet this day, and spent time conversing and getting to know one another. I am surprised by Life and by its beautiful unfolding, and grateful to the Universe for continuing to make you a part of my life. How much do I appreciate you!
It is true that I did not know very much what to expect. I was bubbling with excitement, and felt sick to the stomach with nerves. But it did not take long for the nerves to leave. I was able to sit back in my chair, and breathe, and communicate. You behaved exactly as I hoped, exactly as I knew that you would: showing interest and care, asking questions and responding to everything I said. I had always known you would be a good friend to me, but to finally experience it was incredible. What a relief to have that tangible experience, that actual memory, of a friendship I had for so long dreamed of and believed possible. It has become true. It is no longer a wish, it is reality, and I am so grateful to you for allowing it to happen.
I still don’t know for sure what my feelings are. I suppose they resemble Love. That is, I think perhaps that I love you. But not the type of love that’s shown in movies. This love is not romantic, not based on attraction at a physical level, nor is it codependent and selfish (at least I hope not). I would describe it as spiritual love, simply because my feelings are so strong, defy any reason, and are never going to change, regardless of what action you take, as if those feelings were outside of me, outside of my body (though they are in my heart).
So I love you, I love having you in my life, I love to see you, I love to speak with you. I cannot believe you are willing to be my friend, but I am so thankful that is the case, for this friendship is incredibly meaningful to me. Thank you for all you have ever given me – your presence has really been a gift, a blessing in my short little life. May you always know how much I appreciate you.
Words & Feelings 